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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Harris

Sex and Intimacy, Part One

Allow me to get straight to the point.

We MUST get comfortable talking about sex.

Our marriages are counting on it.

Our kids are counting on it.

Our churches are counting on it.

Our culture is counting on it, because our culture is deceived.

But God? He can redeem anything!

As a therapist, it breaks my heart to see so many couples, individuals, teenagers and children struggling due to the sexual brokenness that is so prevalent in our culture. The amount of people living in low-to-no-sex marriages is astounding. The amount of people struggling with pornography addiction is daunting. Sexual brokenness is all around us, but take heart. There is hope, restoration and redemption.

I do not want to get into a political debate, nor will I engage in one, but I think the arguments surrounding abortion right now are missing the mark on both sides. I firmly believe that if we respected and lived within God’s design for sex, marriage and the family, we would have far fewer social issues to deal with. We want to do what feels good, yet we don’t want to acknowledge the consequences and the pain we are bringing onto our own lives and the lives of our children. We are trying to put band-aids on bullet holes instead of examining where the bullets are coming from.

Sex is powerful and sex is sacred. It will either scar us or it will seal us. I want to help you consider ways you can strengthen and protect that seal.

Disclaimer: If you and your spouse are not in a good season, if there are sexual issues, if there is a lack of sex, sexual dysfunction, sexual trauma, addiction issues, broken trust…please seek a third party who is trained to help. Don’t waste another day. Don’t cheat yourself or your spouse of a thriving marriage. You can get healthier. If your spouse is unwilling, go by yourself. You deserve hope, healing, and redemption regardless of your spouse’s willingness.

So, where do we even start when seeking sexual health and healing? How do we begin these conversations? How can we make these conversations feel more safe to engage in?

We start with our view of sex, and we pay attention to how we define sex. And then we go back to God’s Word and we examine if our definition is out of alignment with the Lord’s. Sex is a God-ordained gift intended for a man and his wife. Sex is an act of worship, an act of celebration, and a seal for the marriage covenant. Sex is mysterious, holy, fun and so much more! Let's not miss out or misuse this awesome gift.

In Part 2 of Sex and Intimacy, we will take a look at how our views of sex are impacting our marriages, families, and churches today.

Check back for Part 2 on Friday!

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