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  • Writer's pictureMichelle Harris

Marriage Resolutions for the New Year

Can you believe it? We are 21 days into our New Year! Three weeks have passed us by already. I’ve been quietly sitting back and watching others as they share their goals or their words for 2019. As a goal setter and a planner, I love this time of year. While every day offers the chance for fresh mercies, there is something about turning the calendar to a new year that really gets us motivated. I’m a big advocate for goal setting and New Year resolutions.


How are you doing 3 weeks into this fresh year? Have you set resolutions? Do you feel like you have already let yourself down? Don’t be discouraged. Decide to get back on track, choose to sit down and look toward this coming year with fresh intentions.


New Year resolutions most often revolve around “me, myself and I”. We write goals such as “I want to lose weight. I want to take better care of myself. I will pursue this career goal.” This year I want to encourage you to sit back and take stock of “me, myself and I” when it comes to relationships and your marriage. What if we started every year not only setting goals for how to be the best version of ourselves for ourselves, but the best version of ourselves for the benefit of our relationships and families? How would this change our motivations?


Personal resolutions are important as they overflow into relationships. If you lose weight, you’ll have more energy to play with your kids. If you work out regularly, your stress levels will decrease and you’ll be more patient and fun-loving for your spouse. Those things are all good. However, can I encourage you to take a new approach this year? I want to encourage you to try something new in 2019 by writing a marriage resolution.


Find time to sit down with your spouse and write a marriage resolution for the year. Take stock of your last year and look ahead to 2019. Spend some time praying together and asking God to lead and guide your discussion. How will you intentionally pour into your marriage this year? How will you work together to grow closer together? If you have children ask yourself how you can work together as an effective team to parent. In what ways is your marriage strong? In what ways does it need healthy growth and change? How can you carve out time to invest in your marriage daily, weekly and monthly? What relationships can your marriage depend on for encouragement and mentorship?


Is your marriage in a dark place and struggling? How can you get support as soon as possible to heal your relationship? Who in your life will support you as your work to heal your marriage? Please do not wait any longer to seek support. The earlier you do it, the better off you and your marriage will be.


In addition to these important conversations look ahead at your calendar and aim to plan a minimum of one date night per month and one weekend away together per year. If it is possible, plan for two weekends away together or even a vacation away with one another. A change of scenery can be invigorating to a marriage and helps recapture the fun. If you are parents, this break away from your children is even more important. While it can be hard to leave them, the best thing you can do for your children is to build and protect a healthy marriage.


This year, don’t do resolutions alone. Do them as a couple and set the year off right…walking into 2019 as a stronger, more focused team!


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